Shatter the Silence! – John’s StoryPosted: March 1, 2014
I have had the good fortune to correspond with a gentleman with childhood sexual abuse experiences similar to my own. His story can be found at: http://www.livingwell.org.au/from-men/johns-story/ (John’s story)
A quote from his opening paragraph could have almost been written by myself: “My story starts in the late 60’s, my memories are not clear on dates, etc. I was around 7-8 years old and was the youngest in a large family. The next youngest was a brother, my tormentor. He was 6-7 years older than me. He was always resentful and cruel to me, he had been “the baby” for a long time. Perhaps he was jealous, though he was always our Dad’s “golden-haired child”.”
With a few minor exceptions, this paragraph matches my own life story. My own story starts in the early 70s and my brother had my mother’s brown hair and brown eyes; however, my brother was very much my parent’s “golden child”. My brother was 7 ½ years older than me and like John’s story, my brother was my resentfully cruel jealous tormentor. My rapist brother was in charge of me and my oldest brother.
Though, unlike my story, John’s story does have a silver lining where he was able to find JUSTICE!
It is eerie how two people from completely different families, backgrounds, and countries can have such similarly sad childhoods. The characteristics of sibling sexual abuse are somewhat universal especially when it continues to go unnoticed by the parents and other adults with no early interventions to stop the abuse. The abusing sibling is given “free rein” to rule over the other sibling(s) as they see fit.
It is clear, John was able to take the ultimate act of letting go of the responsibility for the childhood sexual abuse. And with the help of justice system in his country, he was no longer taking responsible for or protecting the person who abused him, his brother, and his brother faced the consequences of his own actions. (The wording highlighted in bold is from step 3 of Survivors of Incest Anonymous, The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. Literature is available at: http://www.siawso.org/Default.aspx?pageId=1633106 )