2 Samuel 13 – Rape of Tamar – A classic tale of sibling sexual violence

My own childhood family parallels 2_Samuel_13.  Amnon would be my 2nd oldest brother (B2).  Absalom would be my oldest brother (B1).  Except B1 did not kill B2.  My oldest brother, B1, has too kind of a heart along with some developmental delays from birth that slow him down.  My parent’s response was similar to King David’s response; they were very angry but did nothing.  My parents also have some terrible child abuse history in their own past done by their parents.  It appears the abuse has been passed down through generations in my family.  Of course, I would be Tamar except I am starting to realize that I don’t have to live my life in desolation like the bible passage says about Tamar.

It is also important to note, B1 did participate in “hands-off” sexual abuse up until he witnessed B2 take my virginity when I was 7 years old.  After that, B1 never participated in sexually abusing me ever again; however, because of the complete breakdown in communication within my childhood family home; B2 was in a position of power to continue sexually abusing me until he moved out of the home about 5 years later.

Sibling sexual violence is the result, not the cause, of a dysfunctional family.  The rape of Tamar clearly demostrates this.  The rape of Tamar by her brother was not the cause of her family’s problems; it was a symptom of a much deeper family problem (for example, David’s affair with Bathsheba).  Clearly, David, like my own parents, was not paying attention to his family.

Click on the following link for more information about this biblical story:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamar_(2_Samuel)
http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt08b13.htm#1

The Three D’s” — Disappointment, Discouragement, and Depression are feelings that can bring us Down.  The list of “D’s” could easily continue with words such as, Dejection, Despondent, Doldrums, and my personal favorite from the story of Tamar is Desolation.

The Three P’s” — Prayer, Praise, and Press-On are words of EmPOWERment and represent tools we can activity use to fight the “D’s”.  Just for fun I thought of adding a few more “P” words, such as: Patience, Peace, Play, Power (already part of the word Empowerment), Purification, and Purpose.

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